Here’s how to be an active, empathetic listener with toddlers and twos, an approach our teachers use consistently and you can practice this at home too!:
Here’s how to be an active, empathetic listener with toddlers and twos, an approach our teachers use consistently and you can practice this at home too!:
Repeat back what you hear the child telling you through words and actions in language she can understand. Reflect the same tone that she is expressing. This lets a child with limited language know that you understand what she’s feeling: “You want that shovel! You really want that shovel! You don’t want to wait. You really, really want it!” Your tone and facial expressions are so important in this step. It may seem odd or a bit uncomfortable the first time you do it. But as soon as it works for you, you won’t care what you look or sound like. The child is hearing you and knows that you genuinely understand what she’s feeling.
When the child calms a bit and seems ready, name and explain the child’s feelings. Use words to describe feelings accurately: “It is really frustrating when you want to use a toy that someone else is using.”
Active listening can help to defuse challenging situations when children are experiencing strong emotions.
Sometimes children just need to know that you understand their feelings in order for them to calm themselves.
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